I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Well, you know what they say?

Jack: Who’s “they”

me: They who?

Jack: That’s what I’m asking.

me: I don’t know what you’re saying.

Jack: When they say they, who are they?

me: Who are you talking about. Who’s they?

Jack: That’s what I just asked you!

me: Do you mean in general? The general they?

Jack: They’re the military?

me: Sigh.

——————–

Jack: This joke is sooo funny but it has a bad word in it that I have to say if I tell you the joke.

me: Hmmm…okayyyy?

Jack: Well the ending is funny and it’s “…everyone but me is an idiot!!!” Sorry. I tried that joke out on the bus last year.

(pause)

Jack: You don’t want to know how that turned out.

——————–

Jack: This pasta is good!

me: Thanks. Glad you like it.

Jack: Did you know that a wasp lays its eggs on a spider and when the babies hatch they eat the spider and save the vital organs for last, so the spider’s alive while it’s being devoured?

me: (looking down at my pasta)

Jack: Gross huh?

(P.S. Jack’s quoting Calvin and Hobbes directly now. He memorized the wasp story verbatim. I thought he was telling me something he learned at school. Either way, still GROSS!)

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10 responses

  1. Love it!!! :0)

    November 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    • Thanks… you are too kind. :)

      November 7, 2011 at 9:17 pm

  2. LOL! That first conversation is so perfect! I have often wondered the same thing. Maybe Jack is on the right track with the military. I’m sure many conspiracy theorists would agree.

    November 7, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    • It was a bit of Abbot and Costello, let me tell you. Wait, how old are you? You probably don’t even know the damn reference. SIGH!!!

      November 7, 2011 at 9:44 pm

      • OMG! I absolutely know that reference. I like Jack’s version better, though!

        November 7, 2011 at 10:04 pm

      • :)

        November 7, 2011 at 10:07 pm

  3. Pingback: I Thought MoviPrep Was a Type of Buttered Popcorn « whatimeant2say

    • They always lie.

      November 8, 2011 at 9:53 pm

  4. whatimeant2say sent me over. I’m on a quest to find out exactly who “they” are. It’s been eating at me for years. Thank you for the enlightenment. ;)

    November 17, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    • Oohhhh maybe my first official referral. Awesome! I hope I live up to the expectations :O

      November 17, 2011 at 9:48 pm

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