I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Who Invented Weekends? (and other such discussions)

Jack: (tonight before bed) Mom, who invented a weekend? Why is school only 5 days a week?
me: Ummm, well, it’s because grown ups only work 5 days a week and they —
Jack: (interrupting) No, I mean, who invented it for grown ups too?
me: Let’s ask Daddy.
Dennis: (coming in the room) Wha?
me: Can you explain to Jack how we ended up with a 5-day work week?
Dennis: Well, it was started by the government because the workers were all getting sick and they needed a few days rest, so they decided to cut it to 5 days and make it pretty much standard…
Jack: Oh.

Jack: (when he was 4) Mom, why do they call it Dunkin Donuts, when all we get is bagels? It should be called Dunkin Bagels. Sheesh.

Jack: (when he was 3) Why is it called Walgreens? Ohhhh, I get it, because it has a wall and it’s…Heeeyyyyy, the wall is brown! It should be called Walbrowns!

Jack: (back at 5 years old) Mom, who was the first Mother? I mean I know you have a mom, and SHE has a mom, and then SHE has a mom, but who was first?
me: God created Eve and she was the first woman.
Jack: But who was HER Mom?
me: Oh look, it’s time for bed.

Jack: (when he was 3) Mom, how do you buy a house? It’s too big to go through the register!


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