I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Bathtime news

Jack: Hey look the battery pack. What are you doing? Bloooogggggg?? What’s his name? Nemo? (he looks around for a toy)

me: Just catching up on emails

Jack: Spic and clean boat. Look. (gurgle noise) Uh that was the boat not me. The boat’s farting.

me: That’s what happens when you put it under water.

Jack: Yeah. Whew.

me: Whatcha making? (he’s pouring water from one vessel to another)

Jack: I don’t know.

me: What does it look like you’re making.

Jack: (eyes me warily) I. don’t. know.

me: Any news from today at school?

Jack: No. Why? Are you ready for news?

me: Yep. Ready and waiting.

Jack: (talking to his speed boat under his breath) News! News! News! What are you typing. Are you typing my news? Whaaaa. Whaaaa. Whaaaa! (making alarm noises)

me: What was the alarm for?

Jack: It’s just a horn. Just to show you. Eh… I had a good day. Are you typing that? I did lots of math and Fundations (reading). I like going home the best part of the day. Lunch is my favorite part of the day. Because we go in the class and line up for recess. I like having a snack when I come home. No don’t look at me just keep typing what I’m saying.

me: I told you I was checking email.

Jack: But I know you’re typing your blog.

me: (haha) Too smart for your own good aren’t you.

Jack: Yep. Fwooooossshsssshhhhhhhh…. (flying noises. his boat grew wings and cruises over the bathtub)

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