I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Really? Is that the best you can do?

It’s scary when you see a mini version of yourself. You think you can control your own behavior and language so your child will not pick up anything that is … questionable. But, as it turns out, even when you try your hardest, the one time you do slip up, ohhh, it’s the time that your sweet little child will remember every word.

We definitely watch our language fiercely in our house. We’ve slipped up here and there. It mostly involves pain or the most severe case of lost patience on the planet. But sometimes, even our regular speech patterns and quirks are astounding when they’re spouted by a 4-foot tall child.

A year ago:
me: Jack wouldya just please put your freaken shoes on! (I cringed and tried to retract it, but it was too late. I moved on.)

Last week:
Jack: If I could just watch a freaken video then everything would be fine! (yeah that one isn’t so nice coming back at ya)

A week ago:
Dennis: (tripping in the parking lot) Jesus Christ! (mostly said under his breath. but LOUD and under his breath, ya know?)

Yesterday:
Jack: (tripped in the kitchen) Jesus Christ! Sorry! I mean, heh heh~!!
me: (warning look) Grrrr….
Jack: sorry…

Jack: Oh and FYI, I’m not wearing THAT to school.
me: What is FYI?
Jack: I don’t know. You always say it before you say something else.
me: You don’t even know what it means. But you say it.
Jack: Wellll, FYI, so what?

me: (on the phone) …yeah and then I had to go to that stupid meeting…
Jack: Mommmm! You said the “S” word! Not good!
me: Sorry!
Jack: (the next day) I don’t want to ride the stupid bus, sorry. Wait, yes I DO want to ride the stupid bus SORRY!
me: Sigh…

me: (trying to carry 50 things out to the car) Jack, please can you carry your backpack. I don’t have another spare finger to hold it on.
Jack: I know I know, you can do 20 things, but you can’t do 21. That’s what Daddy always says. I wonder why he can only do 20?

me: (trying to unlock the back door so Jack can climb in my car) What the…? (click, click)
Jack: It’s still locked.
me: Hold on. (click!) There.
Jack: Really? Is that the best you can do? Sigh… (Now who does he get THAT from?)

I could literally go on for hours. But dishes need to be put away. The cat litter needs to be cleaned. Ed thought it would be a good idea to poop outSIDE the box today. Really Ed? Is that the best you can do?

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