I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

How mornings have evolved

We used to get up at 4:30 every day. Not by choice mind you. We had a 3-month-old that learned to sleep through the night! His night ended at 4:30 a.m. every day. I would try everything to extend that time. Wake him early from naps, put him to bed earlier, put him to bed later. Still 4:30. Then I started to put him in bed with us, specifically Dennis. I could not sleep with an infant. Dennis could sleep with a dump truck pouring cement on his head. Oxygen deprivation? No matter! With Dennis, Jack would go back to sleep for another 2 hours sometimes! But, we did not want an 8-year-old boy that had to sleep with his father every morning, so we had to stop that nice little ritual.

Then Jack gradually extended his wake time to 5:30, ah blessed relief. Wait a minute, we thought. That’s still too early! We got to 6/6:30 and maybe 7:00. And here we stayed. 5 years later. We’ll get the occasional “holy shit we’ve overslept and why didn’t Jack wake us oh my God he’s still sleeping and it’s 8am!!!!!” But we rarely get to enjoy them. Jack will oversleep only when it’s inconvenient. Not his fault. Just the luck of the draw. Sigh.

During the winter months, when it’s still dark out, we can convince Jack that it’s still the middle of the night, even if it’s 6am. He’ll look around a bit confused, shrug and go back to sleep. Yay! We don’t get away with that too often though. (Hold on, my eggs just beeped…)

Not MY eggs, they’re for egg salad…okay, where was I…

Now that Jack is closing in on 6 years old, he wakes up and … get this … likes to PLAY by himself in the morning! Yipee! It only sucks if it’s a school day and we’re running late. But if it’s a school day and it’s really early, well, yawwwwnnn, I’m rolling over and listening to him play on the (yes we still use it) baby monitor. His room is wayyyyy over there, and on the 2nd floor. Ours is down here. Right behind this wall. I like to listen to him do his thing. Our morning started like this:

Jack: (loud crashing noise, and fake deep voice) We’re coming in for a landing, over! BRRRMMMMMM!

I can just picture him flying things around his room. He can really trash it in 20 minutes. I start to doze while I listen.

Jack: Oh, what’s this? You’d like to attack the enemy? Why yes I can help with that. (CRASH!) (falsetto voice) Oh nooooo, what’s happening??

I can only imagine the horrors he’s putting his toys through. But suddenly there is silence. Ahhh. I can really go back to sleep.

Jack: MOM! (he’s right next to me!)
me: AHHH! How did you get down here??
Jack: I walked. Time to get up!
me: Says who…? (yawn)
Jack: Me. I’m hungry!
me: Don’t you want to play? You just got up.
Jack: I’ve been playing since the big hand was on the 9 and now it’s on the 3. It’s after 7 you know.
me: Oh, wow you’ve been up for awhile. I didn’t realize. Hey Den, it’s 7…
Dennis: (grunting awake) So?
Jack: I knew you were tired still so I played by myself.
me: Thanks Jack, that was sweet. Now, when you wake up, try not to slam things and use noisy toys right next to the monitor. It’s really loud down here.
Jack: But playing quietly is boring.

Spoken like a true boy. I can’t wait to see what his room looks like. I haven’t been up there yet today.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s