Another Comedy Routine – Halloween Style
First let me say that this “sick day” of mine didn’t really pan out. I was out of bed by 9am and doing my usual 50 things at once. We carved the pumpkin, roasted the seeds, made cookies, cleaned the house, and had a bunch of people over for pizza and tricks/treats and then had them all back over AFTER tricks/treats to compare the candy stashes. There were 3 teenagers, 2 kids, and an infant, plus a small group of adults. It was cold and windy out so I’m sure that I’ll have some bronchial flareup tomorrow right on cue. Cough.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I am not in any way embellishing Jack’s comments. He received many “talking to’s” about his wise cracks. Sigh.
Jack: This way to the candy! Mom, this mask hurts. Here take it.
Jack: Hey guys, the candy at this house stinks! (said as he walked away…and the door was still open!) Mom, take my blaster, it’s not working out for me.
Jack: Here’s the 3-step rule…1) Ring Doorbell, 2) Get Candy, 3) Goodnight!
Jack: I am NOT wearing these flashers. (hands me the red flashing blinky things that I had clipped to his costume) Hey, let’s just cut through their bushes. I’m not walking all the way back down there!
Jack: Bing-Bong, yeah yeah gimme the candy. Let’s go in there. (He’s quoting the Jerry Seinfeld Halloween book that he loves. Unfortunately it sounds so rude!)
Jack: Mom I’m so thirsty!!! Can you ask this house for water!??
Gavin: Jack wait up!
Jack: No Gavin I can’t wait for you, I’m thirsty. (Jack luckily scored a bottle of water and then took a rest on this poor guy’s front step)
Jack: Gavin wait UP!
Gavin: No, you didn’t wait for me so I’m not waiting for you. (he tags Jack with his light saber)
Jack: Stop tazing me!
Jack: My legs are tired Mom. (Jack flops down right in the middle of the road)
me: Let’s go Jack, we’re almost done.
Jack: (much whining)
Jack: Are we done?
me: We’re going to this last house over here.
Jack: Noooooo…sob… I’m tired and freezing.
Back at our house:
Jack: Can I have some candy?
me: You can have 1 piece. Just 1.
Jack: Okay! Kit Kat please! (then in hoarse whisper to Gavin) Gavin, you grab a few and then I’ll have some of yours.
me: Jack, do you think I can’t hear you?
Jack: Awwwww…. (stomps away)
By the end of the night I was wearing my wig, Jack’s transformer mask, his blaster arm…I was holding his vest and his water bottle that leaked in my coat pocket, and I had pilfered two of his reese’s peanut butter cups. All in a night’s work. Hope everyone had a fun halloween! I have a mini sugar buzz and boot camp is about 7 hours from now. Sob.