I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Some milestones

In the many mom blogs that I follow, everyone invariably discusses their baby and the different milestones that have come and gone. Once your child gets to be 3, 4 or 5, the milestones are not so much of a big deal. I mean, there’s the bike riding with no training wheels, or the OMG he can read, type of thing, but the little milestones, which are really very big, I think get taken for granted.

I’m here to tell you all about Jack’s latest milestones. The big, the small, the in-between. As best I can in my current state of sleep deprivation due to the constant lack of air passing through my nasal cavity! Ugh~ it’s a small cold but it’s so effen ANNOYing. Sniff…

Shall we make it a top 10? Why the F not.

10. Jack is about to lose his first tooth. Well, both bottom teeth. 
Jack: I’m going to tie a string on my tooth and tie it to the door and when you come home it will pull my tooth out. That’s what they do in Russia.

me: We come home together. How are you gonna set that up?

Jack: Oh whatever, I’ll just pull it out! (he pushes on the tooth a tiny bit, it bleeds, he cries, the tooth wins.)

9. Last Saturday Jack learned to yo-yo.
Jack: Awwww! I. Can’t. DO. THIS!!!! (typical reaction from the boy that has to master everything immediately.)

me: Here, just copy what I do. You’re too close to the floor so it’s harder for you.

Jack: Hey! I did it!

me: If you miss catching it and it flips over your arm, just say you’re doing “around the world”. And, if you drop it and it rolls on the floor, just say you’re “walking the dog”.

Jack: This is awesome. I can’t believe I can do a yo-yo!!! (he proceeds to whack himself in the forehead a few times)

8. Jack earned his white belt in Tae Kwon Do. Have I mentioned this? 🙂
Jack: (to his friend) Yeah, I just got my white belt. I think like next week I’ll have my black belt…sniff. Yeah, I’m pretty good at being a champion. (now that’s confidence.)

7. Jack has been using a knife at dinner.
Jack: Why do I get a butter knife but you get a sharp knife?

me: Because we don’t want you to hurt yourself.

Jack: I won’t hurt myself! Ugh! (Said as he falls out of his chair and hits the floor with the butter knife in his hand. Sigh.)

6. Almost, almost done with sucking his thumb. So close.
me: You know, when those teeth fall out, you have to stop sucking your thumb.

Jack: I don’t ever want to stop!

me: We don’t want to mess up your adult teeth.

Jack: You said you had braces, so I’ll just get braces. (thumb goes in)

5. Jack hits 48″ and 48 pounds.
me: You’re 48 and 48. Even on all sides.
Jack: I’m a square??

4. Jack masters Checkers, Hangman, Go Fish, Trouble and Battleship.
me: These are the games that I used to play with Daddy before you were born.

Jack: Did Daddy beat you too?

me: Sigh. (Jack’s freakishly good at these games.)

3. Jack calls people on my cell phone.
Jack: You just got a text from Kelley. It said that they like cheese pizza, so you have to buy cheese. Kay?

me: Why are you reading my texts?

Jack: Because it showed up on the screen after I called Daddy.

me: When did you call Daddy?

Jack: You were in the bathroom so I left him a message.

2. Jack goes off to play with other kids, and doesn’t need me to watch him 100% of the time!!! Yes! I’m shouting this one!!!
me: Are you guys going to be okay playing by yourselves?  Jack?  Do you need anything? (He was already off playing without so much as a backward glance at me.)

1. Jack somehow picks up use of the word “truly”.
Jack: I truly think I can stay in this bathtub for another hour. Can I?
Jack: Now, you truly don’t think you can win this.
Jack: I’m gonna win the coloring contest, I truly think so!

There are more, but it’s late, I’m tired and the bootcamp never goes away. Gotta rest up and begin the crazy cycle again tomorrow.

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2 responses

  1. Congratulations! Remember to catch the Tooth Fairy in the act whenever that tooth pops out.Free with code ($10 value): Fairy-Proofhttp://www.iCaughtTheToothFairy.com

    Like

    November 3, 2010 at 6:46 am

  2. Thanks! But the tooth finally popped out today. We went the old fashioned route. No evidence! 🙂

    Like

    November 9, 2010 at 11:00 pm

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