I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

i am robot

Jack: Mom, I’m a robot with 3 settings. Let’s play football.

me: What are the settings? And we can’t throw in the kitchen. Well, maybe just underhand.

Jack: (points to his head) The top setting is “robot mode”, the middle is “human”.

me: And the third?

Jack: That’s “British”.

me: (stifling a big laugh) Okay, let’s hear “British” please!

Jack: (switches his head to the 3rd setting) Cheerio, I have to go to the loo!  (said in a bloody good British accent might I add)

me: Oh that’s good Jack. What about “Robot”.

Jack: (nasal robot voice) Let’s. Play. Football.

me: (I toss him the football and his robot arms don’t work very well. Convincing!) Jack, what happens if your button gets stuck between “Robot” and “British”.

Jack: (with blank robot face, robot delivery, mild British accent) Have. To. Go. To. Loo.

me: (LMAO!!!!!) Hahahahaha! You are too funny Jack!

Jack: (switches his button) No, really I’ll be right back, I have to PEE!!!!


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