I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Fake army tank

Or “All in one breath”… I could have titled it that…because that’s how most paragraphs come out of this child. This is pretty typical, but still it’s fun to hear his rant. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Jack: Today Will had a big problem with everything. He said I couldn’t play with his army guys and that’s what started the WHOLE thing. I only have a PLASTIC gun on my army tank and HE has wheels that really turn and mine don’t! Then recess was over and we had to go back in so then I was mad at him the rest of the day. Next time I won’t let him play with MY army tank but maybe I can get one that actually has a REAL gun on it and not just plastic, PLUS wheels that actually turn.

me: (stirring the pan on the stove) Did that have something to do with your assessment having a frown face in the “worked well with other students” column?

Jack: Hey, are you done with that dinner because I am losing my patience and want you to play!

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