I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

If you haven’t heard it, it’s new to you

A few things have happened in the last week or so, and I’m here to give you an update! You know you want it!

But first, look at the little guy that keeps visiting me at work. This is right outside my window. Go ahead. Awwwwwww!



Right? I told you. Awwww. He’s been visiting us all week.

me: Jack, check out these pictures…

Jack: What is it? A deer? Aw, boring!!

me: No look, I have a video of him right outside my window eating.

Jack: It looks just like he’s eating. Can I go?

me: Sigh…


So today I took my white belt test. Yay! I passed. Tomorrow Jack takes his orange belt test.

me: Hey, do you want to practice your form?

Jack: I’m already awesome, so…

me: No really, one more time.

Jack: NO! I’m almost a black belt anyway.

me: You’re probably 2 years away from that…SOOO…

Jack: Just because you’re a non-belt doesn’t mean you can be a pest.


Earlier today Jack and I were eating a snack in the kitchen. We both had books. We would read random things out loud to each other when we found something funny.

Jack: I’m not supposed to read a library book while I eat.

me: So just look at the pictures.

Jack: Can you turn the page? (chomp chomp)

me: Here, I’ll flip one…

Jack: (reads the page) Okay, you can flip!

me: I’m not your slave you know.

Jack: Slave Mommy. Yes you are. Flip!


Jack started his “reading enrichment” class. He was so excited to actually get up early, and potentially have more homework. (Geeeek!)

(6:01 Tuesday)

Jack: Time to get up, come ON! We’re gonna be late! (he pulls me out of bed)

me: Come on Jack, we don’t have to be there for 2 more hours!

Jack: I know how long you take. Get up!

me: Yeah, I’m the slowpoke. Sheesh…

Jack: Now go do your little makeup Mrs. Mommy!




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