I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Bus Patrol

me: Jack, I’m sooo proud of you today. You got an excellent report from school and you earned some video time!

Jack: Yaayyyy! Oh this is gonna be good!

(Said referring to our new system whereby Jack earns video minutes by earning points at school. We have to do SOMEthing!)

me: You must be proud of yourself sweetie!

Jack: Yeah. Can I tell you something?

me: Sure.

Jack: On the bus someone called me a name and then I called them a nerd.

me: Who was it?

Jack: A bus patrol OLDER girl.

me: Please don’t call her names, okay? Just ignore her.

Jack: She called it first. Then she said she was gonna report me for saying nerd and then she asked me my name but I gave a FAKE last name hahaha, but then this other kid asked me what my real last name was and I whispered it to him and then he YELLED it out and the bus patrol girl knows it now. But I don’t think she reported me.

me: Yet.

Jack: Huh? Anyway I told her “you and your gang of friends are a bunch of nerds and you should go in a hole with a pile of dynamite”

me: Sigh, Jaacckkkk… How does that sound to you? Good?

Jack: It sounds just right when she started it.

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