I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

www dot nothing

Jack: Mom what if I invented www.

me: As in websites?

Jack: No. Weird, weird world.

me: What do you mean “invented”.

Jack: Like, what if I came up with an idea for a weird WEIRD world that had Daddies laying eggs and stuff.

me: Huh?

Jack: Like how bugs lay eggs? So Daddies would lay eggs instead. That’s WEIRD! And then maybe they would have the babies too.

me: Very weird. Is that what your little brain is cooking up?

Jack: Yeah I like to think the opposite sometimes. Like I’m in college and you’re the little kid, or you’re the Daddy and Daddy is the Mommy.

me: Is that fun to think up?

Jack: I don’t know. I just do it. (he thinks for a moment..) Can you skip some of your classes from now on?

me: What? Oh…You mean like my bootcamp?

Jack: Yeah, I miss you when you’re gone.

me: But you’re asleep. I make sure I’m back when you wake up.

Jack: Well it’s just that I know Daddy is there and I just stay in bed because he’s kind of annoying.

me: Not nice Jack.

Jack: Sorry. I mean it’s not the same as having you there.

me: Just think of opposite world. So pretend I’m really home, but just stay in bed until I really get home and then I’ll come up and wake you up. Daddy doesn’t even have to worry about it.

Jack: That’s not opposite world, that’s just lying.

me: Oh. Sorry.

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