Wired Kid

It wasn’t sugar, and it wasn’t playtime before bed…there was no lack of exercise during the day and we certainly didn’t give Jack chocolate or anything with caffeine, but that kid was WIRED tonight before bed. He literally couldn’t speak fast enough to get everything out. Here is a synopsis, to the best of my knowledge…I’m tired just thinking about it.

me: Okay, get tucked in the right way and I’ll cover you up…

Jack: We had to paint our dreams today in art.

me: A real dream?

Jack: Yeah, remember I told you that I dreamed about Mario and he was in my dream trying to cut down a tree and I was like “don’t cut that down!” and he kept running away and I kept chasing him and…

me: Hey, you don’t play any Mario games. Why did you dream that?

Jack: I don’t know, but then we had to use tempera paint and you don’t know about that but it never comes off, see my arm? (he holds it up) this will NEVER come off, it’s red and it looks like a cut or a burn or something.

me: Okay, it’s time to calm down a bit so you can get drowsy.

Jack: Remember the Wallace and Grommet? The one with the penguin? How does a penguin become a bad guy, that’s just crazy! Remember JoAnn told us that story about the guy who was driving the penguins down the highway and the cops stopped him? Then the cop said Hey you need to take these penguins to the zoo. And the next day the guy was driving with the penguins again hahahahahaha and they had sunglasses on and the cop stopped him and said I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo! And the guy said I did take them to the zoo but today we’re going to the beach! Hahahahahah that is the funniest story of my life.

me: Is that so? It is funny. Here let me cover you up.

Jack: You know the difference between grown ups and kids? Well kids say police and grown ups say cops. That’s the difference.

me: Jack, you have to take a breath and try to calm down. You may have to count sheep or something to go to sleep.

Jack: Oh Oh one more thing! In my book the girl got caught by the bad guy and put into a grandfather clock. And you know what? The chair that had someone in it went into the wall and when it came back out there was no one on the chair mom! Then there was a painting on the wall and the guy cut the eyes out and used it to spy. That’s creepy. I don’t want to have any paintings in our house so bad guys don’t cut the eyes out and spy on us.

me: Deal. Okay, are you done?

Jack: Yeah. I took everyone’s carrots at lunch.

me: I don’t even want to know or talk about it now. Can you get some sleep?

Jack: Yeah, can you rub my back, or maybe my hair? Or just my back, yeah yeah that’s fine.

me: Just for a minute then it’s really bedtime. Just shush and relax okay?

Jack: Can you go under my shirt? Oh that’s awesome…no can you move over here? Ahhh, just to the side a little? Are you scratching or what?

me: And we’re done here. Goodnight.

Jack: You always try to rush me to go to sleep.

me: Yeah, that was one big rush, it took like 20 minutes!

Jack: Can you or Daddy sleep with me?

me: No.

Jack: Why?

me: Because we have things to do after you go to sleep.

Jack: Oh okay, then…

me: What?

Jack: Zzzzzzz.

Poor kid burned himself right out. Dennis and I watched Due Date and it was pretty funny in a stupid way, but you’ll laugh if you see it. Going to bed now. In a few hours I will be bootcamping again. The cycle continues.

2 thoughts on “Wired Kid”

  1. I laughed so hard I cried. I had to read it out loud to Mike. We’ve had nights like that around here.
    Did he eat everyone’s carrots so he’d be able to see in the dark really well?


    1. I found out the next day that he had traded legos for 5 of his friends’ carrot baggies (that came with the hot lunch that day I guess). He just wanted to see how many he could get. Apparently he didn’t eat any of them. I still wonder about that kid…


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