me: (having just dialed Dennis’ phone…waiting for him to answer… )
Dennis: (muffled voice) Jack talk to mom…(more muffling sounds of the phone being passed to Jack in the back seat). Here.
Jack: (didn’t put the phone to his head) Dad here’s my tissue… (rustle rustle rustle)… (long pause……..) Hello?
me: Hi! What are —
Jack: (interrupting) Can we rent Megamind? Because the movie at Tae Kwon Do is a long ways away and I want to see if it’s any good,
me: First, how did you do in school?
Jack: Okay. I had a good morning but in the afternoon I had trouble listening in the library. So I got in trouble.
me: I’m glad you had a good morning. I’m sorry I couldn’t —
Jack: So can we rent it or not??
me: Hey, you know you have to eat a snack and then get your homework done right?
Jack: WE’RE NOT EVEN AT HOME RIGHT NOW!!!
me: (like I couldn’t tell with all the whoosing car driving noises) Put Daddy on please.
Dennis: Yeah?
me: Can you hear me? Put it on speaker…
Dennis: It is on speaker. What?
me: Well Jack was yelling so I wanted to tell you that he should have a snack now so it doesn’t ruin his dinner later, and he has to do his homework.
Jack: WE’RE IN THE CAR!
me: Can you tell him to stop yelling or take it off speaker?
Dennis: Jack stop yelling. He can hear you, you know.
me: Hey Jack…
Dennis: Answer Mommy
Jack: What?
me: You can watch a movie if you want for a little while but then you have to do your homework.
Jack: Okay! So can we rent Megamind?
me: That’s up to Daddy. You won’t have time to watch the whole thing…
Dennis: Can we wrap this up?
Jack: What?
me: Can you still hear me? (silence) Helloo??
Dennis: Answer Mommy please!
Jack: WHAT?
me: Sigh, okay I’m going. Jack I just wanted to tell you I missed you and I’ll see you later. Sheesh.
Dennis: Let’s go…
Jack: (starting to hang up) But we’re renting Megamind right?
me: Sigh (click)
Sh*t My 17-Year-Old Says 