I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

OMG the noise

It’s mayhem in here right now. I have a chicken boiling on the stove for “chicken and dumplings”, Bella is crawling around on my desk as I type. Ed’s meowing because he has to poop. Jack’s singing Opera and playing with some musical toy… Dennis is stomping around doing laundry and playing with Jack. Luckily he just handed me this drink consisting of cranberry juice and some sort of cherry vodka. Uh oh.

Earlier in the day I did my share of playing with Jack. Here’s how it went.

Jack: Can you go get my army guys?

me: You mean the ones in the basement?

Jack: Yeah. Can you?

me: —

Jack: Please???

me: Okay. That’s better. (I go fetch the toys like a good little mommy slave)

Jack: Okay you set up all the guys and make us each have a team. Mine should have more of course.

me: Of course!

Jack: Heyyy, why did you put those little guys on my side??? Here you can have them.

me: Oh thanks.

Jack: Now play.

me: (making pew pew pew noises at his guys) There I got you, and I drag you over to my prison.

Jack: NOOOOO! You don’t shoot and make my guys fall, you just SHOOT.

me: And what happens when I shoot them. Do they dance or do I miss every time?

Jack: Just shoot.

me: Pew. Pew.

Jack: You’re not really playing now.

me: I just shot two guys so I don’t really know what to do if I can’t knock them down.

(Jack just came in as I was typing this. “Mom what are you doing…hey what’s that drink? Can I try it??) Sigh…

Jack: Here you can have this car.

me: But you probably won’t let me drive it anywhere.

Jack: How rude!

me: Well am I right?

Jack: Here I’ll shoot down all your guys with my nerf gun.

me: Of course you will.

Jack: PEW!!!!! (all my guys get destroyed) There, that takes care of that. (he gets up to leave)

me: Hey, if you’re done, then you can clean up here.

Jack: But you’re still playing, I’m just the one that’s leaving.

me: Oh, but of course!



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