I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Losing My Marbles

Jack wanted to build a “marble maze” out of blocks. The theory he had was that we would roll the marbles through this amazing maze and have sooooo much fun with it. Here’s how that went.

Jack: Can you get the blocks from downstairs?

me: We’re not playing with marbles until this mess is cleaned up first. Start cleaning.

Jack: Sigh, why do I always have to clean!

me: You make the messes.

Jack: (slowly picking up one item at a a time) This will take forEVER …

me: At that rate, you are exactly right.

Jack: There! Now can you please bring up the blockssssssssss!

me: Here you go.

Jack: Thanks. (he stares at me)

me: (I stare back)

Jack: Well…?

me: Well what.

Jack: (flinging his hands in the air) Start building lady!!!

me: Heyyyy, not nice.

Jack: Sorry! Aren’t you building the marble maze?

me: Me? I thought it was you?

Jack: Mommmm…..

me: Okay here you go. (I start laying blocks in a maze-like pattern)

Jack: It needs dead ends too you know.

me: You could help you know.

Jack: Not like THAT! Why are you putting that there. Gimme that.

me: Are you playing nice?

Jack: I’m building a maze, that’s what I’m doing.

me: Play nice please.

Jack: This is all wrong. Can we build a conveyor belt instead?

me: For marbles?

Jack: Uh, luggage of course!

me: Ohhhkaayyyy?

Jack: Can I demolish this?

me: Be my guest. (I sit back against the wall)

Jack: Aren’t you helping?

me: My help usually isn’t appreciated.

Jack: Just do your best Mom and I’ll appreciate it.

me: Sighhh… Okay here. I’ll build the best conveyor belt for luggage.

I proceed to line up all of the blocks in a row with offshoots for the luggage to go down a different path if we want it to. Think Toy Story 2. That’s what I’m aiming for.

Jack: This is not good at all.

me: Huh? Lookit this…work of art! It has different paths and everything.

Jack: Can I demolish this too?

me: But you’re just breaking everything Jack. How is that playing? We did the marble maze and the conveyor belt. What’s with the two-minute attention span?

Jack: While you’re playing marbles, I’ve been playing DEMOLISH!

me: (sitting back against the wall) Ohhh just great. You’re on your own then mister.

Jack: But noooo, you can build something else and I won’t demolish it…right away… please?

me: Moms are always suckers aren’t we?


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