I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

No. We’ll do what I want, not what you want.

I was going to do a quote of the day, which was really really funny…but then remembered this little exchange that I had with Jack on Sunday. As usual, he wanted to dress up as something furry and beastly. He usually picks a bison in a zoo. But this time we had weapons. It’s a new twist on all games that we play. Firearms. Dart guns. Tranquilizer guns. Bow and arrows. Boys just like to shoot things and shoot AT things.

Jack: Okay, I’m a bison now Mom.

me: When are you NOT a bison.

Jack: (just looks at me) …Okay, you’re a little girl that wants to visit the zoo but you have to ask your mom and maybe she’s busy so you ask her again and then she finally says she can take you and then you come see me first because you can’t believe there’s a real bison in this zoo. (then he hands me a purple dart gun)

me: Why do I have a gun?

jack: (blank stare) It’s your weapon.

me: I’m 6. And a girl.

Jack: Oh yeah I guess girls wouldn’t shoot a gun.

me: I was more thinking because I’m SIX.

Jack: (rolls his eyes) Okay, give me the gun back.

me: Orrr…why don’t we play bison still, but you’re in the zoo and I’m the zookeeper that has to use a tranquilizer gun because you’re so ferocious and I have to check you but you have to be asleep first.

Jack: No. (pause) You’re the MOM of the little girl and then you take HER to the zoo.

me: Are you even listening?

Jack: The mom can have a gun. So you can keep it. (he starts grunting and getting into character)

me: Okaaayyy, if this is how you want to play…

Jack: Sigh…Just gimme the gun and come and pet me.

LOL, that’s all he really wanted anyway, so why doesn’t he just come out and say that. So I told him how beastly and filthy he was and Jack ate it up. Then he said “try to pet my babies”, so I pretended and he almost bit me. Funny kid. I wonder when this theme will run it’s course. It’s been about a good 3 years of him playing this. Though it started with him as a sheep. Then moose. Then wildebeest. Then minotaur. Then musk ox. Then woolly mammoth. Then bison. Never a bear. Never a tiger. Ever. Hmmm…

Oh, and about that funny quote that I was talking about…Jack and I pulled into the garage the other day and I saw a DSW box outside in the driveway. (Yay!!). When I brought it up, Jack saw the letters and said “Why don’t you try wearing the shoes you have first before you go buying all these new ones.” Uh helloooo, does that sound like a 6-year-old? Or does that sound like Daddy…? You tell ME!

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