I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Yo, work with me here, Ma

We were coming out of a restaurant with a big bag of take out food. Jack kept glancing over his shoulder as I tried to get him, me, my purse and the big bag of food out the door without getting trampled by a crowd of people that had just come in.

Jack: Soooo, I’m going to college tomorrow right?

me: What? (then realizing he likes to play college once in awhile) Oh, okay, yeah you’re gonna be in college tomorrow and have lots of fun.

Jack: Yeahhh, college is SOOO hard! (glances around)

me: Well I hope by “college” you mean you’re gonna have excellent behavior because they don’t let you in with bad behavior you know.

Jack: Mom. Please! Enough with the “behavior” talk, I’m trying to impress the girl over there! Sheesh!

The “girl” must have been all of 5-years old, if that. Hard to say. I’m sure she was really impressed by Jack’s conversation. What in the world is he even thinking???

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