I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Boy Toy

I took Jack to the doctors this afternoon because he’d been complaining of a “popping” noise in his right ear. He mentioned it again today when he was eating pretzels.

Jack: Mom, my ear hurts when I chew!

me: It does? Like how?

Jack: It’s sooo sore and it makes a popping noise or something.

me: Didn’t you say it was hurting last week?

Jack: Last week it was squeaking when I blew my nose.

me: I guess we should have checked it sooner. We’ll see if we can get you into the doctor and they’ll look at it.

Jack: Will I get a shot???!!!

me: No, they’ll just peek.

It turns out there was a little fluid in each ear, but not an infection per se. Sooo, we wait and see what happens I guess. Jack pointed out how very brave he was at his appointment.

Jack: Mom, wasn’t I brave when I thought there would be a shot?

me: But there wasn’t a shot.

Jack: But there COULD have been a shot. I didn’t know that.

me: Yes you were brave.

Jack: Every time I’m brave at the doctors, we go to McDonalds.

me: You’re right.

Jack: Can I go and get a happy meal?

me: Yes.

Jack: Yayyyy!!!

We pull up and I ask for a happy meal. They ask me “boy or girl” and I say boy. Then the screen lights up with our order. Cheeseburger happy meal. Boy toy. Milk.

Jack: Mom, I see that I’m getting a Boy Toy. Luckily they knew I was NOT a girl.

me: I told them “boy”. Didn’t you hear me? Then they put “boy toy” and you read it. Get it? Boy TOY. A toy for a boy.

Jack: Boy toy, Boy toy Boy toy, that’s all you ever talk about. How about you get my food lady.

me: Heyyy, no “lady” business.

Jack: I only say that when you’re doing something I don’t like. Now forget about your little boy toy and I’m hungry!

me: I’m not Madonna you know.

Jack: What?

me: Nevermind.

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