I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Why are you working today?

Jack: Awwwww, I thought you were staying home with me today!!!

me: I have to work sweetie, and Daddy is staying is home with you.

Jack: (whispering) Ohhhh, it’s just another excuse for him to yell at me.

me: (whispering) Then be GOOD!

Jack: Meh.

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