I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

A lesson in sweets

Jack doesn’t eat a lot of sweets. He’s not a huge candy or cookie eater. He loves ice cream, but sometimes won’t finish his cone or scoop. He’s a very responsible sweet consumer, stopping when he’s full. He certainly didn’t learn that horrific trait from me. Leave half of a cookie? WTF I say! We never really offered too many desserts and treats as Jack has been growing up. Maybe a birthday or a holiday would be an occasion for Jack to get to try something new and sugary. Of course his tree nut allergy kept us at bay also, since just about everything know to man has tree nuts or “was possibly made in a facility that may or may not have once been manned by someone that may or may not have had a brother that perhaps was shown a tree nut once when he was a child” etc, etc. Sigh.

me: Hey Jack…how was lunch today?? (looking at his chocolate smeared face as he jumped down from the bus steps)

Jack: It was okay.

me: Any treats?

Jack: (looks at me suspiciously) I know what you’re thinking. A teacher told me to wash my face and I didn’t want to.

me: Okayyy, well what’s on your face?

Jack: Chocolate.

me: You don’t say?

Jack: J.R. gave me a dollar to buy ice cream so I did.

me: What? You have your own money.

Jack: Wellll, I already had two cookies and then he felt bad that I never tried the ice cream at school, so he gave me money.

me: Wait, wait, hold on. (where to begin) First, you should only get one treat at school. As in ONE cookie. Was it a 2-pack?

Jack: No, I got two separate cookies because they were good!

me: Second, you don’t THEN go up and get ice cream after TWO cookies.

Jack: Okay I won’t do it again.

me: And Third…you don’t take money from your friends.

Jack: But I didn’t have any.

me: You have your PIN number. That’s how you buy lunch. You can use that to buy ice cream too. ONLY if you didn’t already have a treat. Got it?

Jack: Okayyyy…

me: We’ll give J.R. back his money tomorrow and say thanks, but you’re not allowed to take money from friends.

Jack: Can I get ice cream tomorrow?

me: Yes, if…?

Jack: I know I know, I won’t get any cookies and then just get one ice cream. It was really good you know.

me: The chocolate one? What was it?

Jack: It was sooo cool. It was like these two giant sticks that had frozen chocolate on them and they were molded together, but there wasn’t a picture on it, it was just chocolate. But stuck together. Thickly.

me: It was a “fudgesicle” Jack. Didn’t you know that?

Jack: No. Whatever…

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2 responses

  1. Two cookies and a fudgesicle! A boy after my own heart. Did he get ice cream the next day?

    May 14, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    • He did from what I remember. 🙂 But skipped the cookie. I can look online at his lunch account (which I secretly LOVE doing) and I notice that most days he doesn’t even get ONE sweet. Interesting!

      May 15, 2011 at 9:30 am

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