me: Jack, go get changed and then come and have your snack.
Jack: Is that all I have to do?
me: Oh, and wash your face.
Jack: AWWWW!!!! (he runs off to my bathroom, stripping clothes along the way)
me: (a minute later) You almost done? Your snack is ready…
Jack: (runs into the room and skids into the chair) Ready!
me: Uh really? (I do a double take and start cracking up)
Jack: Whaaaaatttt?
me: Jack, (hahahaha) look down.
Jack: (looks down at his completely naked body) What? Can I eat now?
me: Hahaha, Jack really, did you forget something?
Jack: I WASHED!!! (he seriously had a blank expression…)
me: I’ll give you one more guess. Look down and see what’s missing…on your BODY?
Jack: (stares down and wiggles his hips, and then it finally dawns on him) O. M. G! I have no clothes on!!!
me: Bingo! Sheesh can you get your clothes on please?
Jack: How did I do that??? (he laughs and runs down the hall) And no looking at my naked tootie!!!!
The expression “he’d lose his head if it wasn’t attached” can pertain to my boy. He will be sitting at the table, holding his pencil, and start screaming “Where’d my pencil go!!!!????” while he waves the pencil around. Sigh.
Oh, and thank you to everyone that reminded me to put money in the tooth fairy treasure box last night. Really! … NOT! Shoot, I totally fell asleep after Jack went to bed. Around 3:30 am he wakes up crying that he has to pee and that the tooth fairy didn’t come. I reassure him that she comes at all hours of the night and not to worry, so he finally goes back to bed. But then I heard him tossing and turning and sneezing and blowing his nose, so I had to wait awhile to put the money up there and take the damn teeth! I turned on the light and continued reading my book until about 4am when I could finally hear silence coming from the monitor. That kid takes a long time to settle down! So I raided Dennis’ coins and came up with $2.00 in quarters ($1 for the new tooth and $1 for the old tooth that he’s using again since the tooth fairy didn’t take it last time). She’s quite a dope I hear! 🙂 So yeah, thanks for letting me fall asleep and all that…
And just for the record, what is that unholy noise coming from the woods outside my bedroom window?
(Follow up: Yeah, this is the noise I heard outside my window…Raccoon fights!)
Sh*t My 18-Year-Old Says 