I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Do what I say, not what I do

Jack: Do we have time to play and still catch the bus??

me: (yawning) Since you woke up at 5:30, we have plenty of time to do both actually.

Jack: Yayyyy! Let’s play police in the dining room. (he runs over to the table which is covered with lego police guys, cars, army guys, various flying machines, etc)

me: (grabbing a guy and doing fake guy voice) Hey, throw a net on this big kid and drag him over here.

Jack: Mommmm….not funny. Don’t play with those guys.

me: (picking up the helicopter and making whump whump whump noises) He’s looking for bad guys from the air!

Jack: Mom, that’s not what I want you to do. Watch me do this… (he takes his milk cup and surrounds it with police guys…I jumped in to help…)

me: Here, put these guys closer…

Jack: MOM, NOOOO let me do it!!!

me: Jack, really, if you don’t let me play with you, how am I supposed to play with you!

Jack: I just want you to play how I said to play!

me: And how was that again?

Jack: (matter of factly) I already told you how. Stop touching those guys. (and he goes back to playing while I sat thee and watched)

Bossy much? No way he gets that from me, right? (nonchalant whistling)


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