I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Magic thermometer

me: I think you have a little fever…let me check…

Jack: Yeahhh, I shouldn’t go to school, should I?

me: Let’s see…(It blips up to 99.5)

Jack; 99.5!!!! OH NO, that’s horrible! (he faints back onto the couch)

me: It’s not that bad actually.

Jack: Ohhh, I should stay home!!

me: I think a little Motrin will help and you are definitely going to school. Just let the nurse know if you feel hot during the day.

Jack: She always says the same thing…”You’re fine”…

me: But that’s probably because you had been visiting her so often, remember? It’s like the “cry wolf” story. You have to really be sick to see the nurse.

Jack: I always was! Once I had this gigantic bruise on my back (he waves his hands frantically behind him) and she said “You’re fine” and sent me back to my class.

me: It probably didn’t look like a bruise so she couldn’t tell. Sometimes bruises don’t show up for a few days.

Jack: Yeah, well…It won’t work.

me: Jack, if you start to feel yucky, please just tell your teacher. They will take your temperature, and if it really is high, they’ll call Mommy and I’ll come get you.

Jack: You don’t know! She has this magic thermometer or something and no matter what you feel like or how hot your head is, or even if it’s burning up like the sun, she puts this thing on you and looks at it and it says “You’re fine”. Really!

me: Is there something else you can do then? That’s your only option.

Jack: The other option is stay home.

me: Not happening. Get dressed so we can get going.

Jack: Am I taking the bus?

me: No, remember you said it was too hot and you asked if I would drive you? Well, I’m driving you.

Jack; But I wanna take the bus!!!

me: We missed it Jack, like 5 minutes ago.

And the fit that he had will definitely raise his temperature up a few notches. This kid can change his mind like the weather. Oh, and speaking of weather, we had the most wicked thunder and lightning storm last night. Around 2am or so. Very loud. Yeah…so, I’m tired…


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