I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

But Mom, I’m 6-and-a-half now ya know…

And how can one little boy grow up so fast in only one week? Let me tell ya…

I guess it’s because I hadn’t seen Jack in a few days, but he is taller, tanner, hair is lighter, front teeth are almost grown in, and he even looks (gasp) muscular! I bought him a pair of skater sneakers to surprise him and they didn’t even fit. His feet are one size bigger! The other thing that grew in the last few days is the attitude. Not the “naughty” kind, but the “cocky” kind. “Pffft, I’m 6 and a HALF, puhhleeeasssse!”

We took a walk around the neighborhood after dinner and then it was bedtime. It feels so weird having this bright sunlight and still having to tell Jack to get his pajamas on. He didn’t really like it one bit.

me: What do you think all those kids are doing at that house over there?

Jack: Uh, Mom, it’s just a bunch of random teenagers. Maybe they’re doing a Harry Potter show, I think I saw a cape.

me: But you’ve never seen Harry Potter…

Jack: Everyone knows they have capes! (eye roll)

me: I guess they do… (we go to cross the road and Jack starts to reach for my hand and then just struts across). Hellooo, watch where you’re going please.

Jack: There aren’t even any cars. Sheesh. I can look both ways… So, can you pretend to interview me because I’m a great skateboarder?

me: You mean like “Jack can you tell us who goes on the road with you when you travel to skating events?” Like that?

Jack: Yeah (he puts on a cool face) Well, it’s just me and my other friends…

me: “How old are you again?”

Jack: I’m uh, a teenager…

me: “Then wouldn’t your Mom still travel with you?”

Jack: Nahhh, that’s for kids.

me: (back to Mom voice) You still need an adult around when you’re a teenager ya know.

Jack: (ponders) Then I’m 23.

me: Ah, got it. Hey, well we’re almost home. Time to get ready for bed I’m afraid.

Jack: Why are you afraid?

me: Oh, it’s just a saying. Let’s go in, wash, potty, teeth, change, and bed!

Jack: It’s called “going to the bathroom” Mom. Not potty. Sheesh. (another eye roll)

me: No more potty?? (I pretend to cry) Where’s my baby????

Jack: (laughing) I’m not a baby!! But I’m right here.

me: Well, I really missed you these last few days. I’m glad you’re home.

Jack: (sounding like a real 23 year old) It was really nice to see you again.

me: Thanks.

Jack: I’m sleeping in the top bunk.

me: Really? You never wanted to…

Jack: I’m older now, 6-and-a-half, so I can do it.

me: All night? You’ll be okay?

Jack: (looking a bit worried but still wanting to be tough) Yeah, I’ll call you if…if it gets too hot up here.

me: Okay, yeah if it’s too hot, you just yell and I’ll come get you.

Jack: Now can I have a little alone time up here to read?

me: Sure.

(sniff, where did my little boy go??)

 

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2 responses

  1. How funny, my husband always reprimands me what I say, “Go potty.” He says, “Just tell him to pee!! He’s 11-1/2 for heaven’s sake!”

    To me, he’s still 4, and he goes potty.

    July 10, 2011 at 12:15 am

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