Gamer boy. He always wins.

I’m talking old school games. Battleship, Life, Monopoly (kids version) Chutes and Ladders, Uno, Sorry, Trouble, Chess, Checkers and even Boggle. Jack knows these games better than any computer game, though Lego Star Wars is topping his charts this past week…

Jack has learned how to play a lot of these games in summer camp already. And the rest he learned from good ole Mom.

We play Battleship pretty regularly and seriously Jack wins every time. I can’t get into his head to see where he might have put those damn ships and usually they’re all plastered in the #10 row or the #1 row. Who does that??? A 6-year-old, and that’s why he wins. I’m starting to catch on to his thought process. Even when we play Checkers he gets double jumps. WTF. When he was younger we “helped” him win, and maybe our strategy backfired because now he knows the surefire way to get kinged. He also wins at Trouble. Every stinking time. No really, this is just a game of chance because whatever number pops up on the dice (die?) is out of our control. Jack always wins.

Is it still beginner’s luck after 2+ years?

me: B3?

Jack: (counting his row across) Nahhhh, put a white peg in that one. (he cheek bombs me)

me: Miss again? Come on, where is that stinking battleship.

Jack: Ooohhh you’re really close Mom. Super close!

me: No hints… I can find it.

Jack: (looks at me)

me: (looking back at him) Your turn!

Jack: Oh, uh…E9?

me: Hit. Sunk my destroyer.

Jack: Destroya Destroya Destroya!

me: (no more of my music for him, sigh) Yeah Yeah I get it. You’re the champion.

Jack: Your bullets were dropping all around my ships. I got away like Old Ironsides! (he remembers that reference from one of my books that I read to him)

me: Good memory. Now what should we play next?

Jack: You mean what do you want to lose next?

me: Are you really only 6?

Jack: Yes! What else would I be?

me: An older sarcastic man hiding in your body.

Jack: Ewww gross!

me: Just kidding.

Jack: Do you want me to let you win the next one? You can peek at my ships.

me: No really I’m fine. I used to win this game, but that’s only when I played with Daddy. Ha ha!

Jack: (loving any game from my childhood) Let’s do Twister! Yeah!

me: Ugh, okay…(thinking about my sprained knee)

I’m too old for these old-school games! These meddling kids! (waving my fist in the air)