I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

It’s always the bread that takes the teeth out

Well it makes sense to ME…

 

Conversation #1:

Jack: The last tooth came out when I was eating a bagel, remember?

me: Yeah, a few of my teeth came out when I was eating sandwiches… (then I say like a wise old sage) It’s always the bread that takes the teeth out.

Jack: Hmmm…(ponders this wisdom)

 

Conversation #2:

me: (yelling from the other room) Why are you sharpening knives! I hear you!

Jack: Because I need to do stuff!

me: Put the knives away!!

Jack: IT’S ONLY ONE KNIFE AND A FORK!

me: (coming into the kitchen to see Jack slicing a knife and fork back together like a swordsman sharpening his tools) AWAY please!

Jack: You never let me do anything fun!

 

Conversation #3:

Jack: (climbing on our neighbors swingset) Ugh, I need a cup!

me: For what, are you thirsty?

Jack: Hellooo, to protect my PENIS!!??

me: (LOL!)

 

 

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10 responses

  1. Wrong kind of cup. I am surprised he even knows about that.

    July 12, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    • I’m sure I told him about boy’s cups at one point… I just didn’t think he’d remember and use it in context! Yeah, this child will always be able to surprise me…

      July 12, 2011 at 11:08 pm

  2. Kim

    Gotta love them kids!!! lol

    July 13, 2011 at 1:28 am

    • And it never ends! That’s the funny part. I’ll have material until he moves out. 🙂

      July 13, 2011 at 10:09 am

  3. You’re a mean mean mommy. I bet you don’t let him run with scissors or play with matches either.

    July 13, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    • Oh I am the WORST! I wouldn’t let him dunk his socks in a glass of water and then freeze it to make stinky sock pops, I wouldn’t let him keep a giant black spider under his pillow as a pet, I also would NOT let him start my car and just back it out of the garage (not really DRIVE it Mommy, just MOVE it for you…). Poor kid…

      July 13, 2011 at 2:30 pm

      • I’m smarter than you. My almost 12-year-old asked for “Call of Duty Black Ops” rated M for mature because he’s played it at TWO of his friends’ houses and I told him, “Let’s ask your dad tonight.” teehee…Dad’s TOTALLY gonna say no, but Noah will know that I rode the fence (when really I’m thinkin HELL TO THE NO!).

        July 13, 2011 at 2:41 pm

      • Oh, good one! I’ll have to stalk you for advice in a few years. 🙂 Funny what some parents DO allow…Sigh…

        July 13, 2011 at 2:42 pm

  4. Nicole

    i seriously laughed out loud with convo 3.

    August 16, 2011 at 11:10 pm

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