I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Finger prick

I don’t mean that in a bad way… 🙂

I just put Jack to bed. For the 3rd time. Anyone else having nights like this?

Jack: Mom, I’m afraid!

me: Aww, there’s nothing to be afraid of! (I thought the Calvin and Hobbes “monsters under the bed” cartoons were finally getting to him.)

Jack: Yes there is. They’re going to do a finger prick to get blood at my 7-year-old checkup!

me: Jack, that’s like 7 months away…

Jack: But I don’t like it! I would rather get another shot than do a finger prick.

me: Maybe we can ask them to take blood from your arm instead.

Jack: A finger prick IN MY ARM??!!!!

me: Sigh. No I mean, use a needle, since you’re not afraid of those anymore.

Jack: Oh. Can they do that?

me: We can ask. Why not? Most kids are afraid of the shots and not the finger prick. You’re the opposite.

Jack: I’m always the opposite.

me: Tell me something I don’t know.

Jack: If they don’t allow blood to come out of my arm, we’re getting out of that place and you’re driving me home.

me: Okay. It’s a deal. (Can they take blood from your arm?? I think it’s just from your wrist, right? Ah, crap. Well I have 7 months to work this out.)

Jack: Okay, thanks…

me: Goodnight.

Jack: Goodnight.

me: (almost made it out of the room)…

Jack: Mom!

me: Yeahhh?

Jack: I feel nauseous and I don’t like counting sheep and I’m not tired!

me: Sighhhh…

But alas, I finally did make it out alive. Jack’s going to be tired tomorrow. He woke me up at 5:39 today. So actually I’LL be tired tomorrow.

(2nd DRUMROLL)

And for those of you (2) that participated in my basil pooping plant contest, Ha, I will now show you the answer to the mystery. What are the little drops that keep falling off my cut stems of basil? Hmm?? HMMMM!!???

Ta-daaaaaaa!

Caterpillar poop! Or pooplets as the case may be. See??

Who's the cute little fuzzy guy living in my kitchen??

Deal with it. I’m not a contest organizer. And if any of you know anything about caterpillars, he turned white in the last day. WTF. Is he turning into a moth or something? We have a butterfly house. Should we stuff him and the basil in it? Keep him as a pet? Should I let him go? Ahhhhh!! Is this inhumane???

Earlier this week…

me: Aww, Jack this carpenter ant is still alive. I think Bella mangled him. (Shut up. Yes I save carpenter ants.)

Jack: Awwww, poor little guy!

me: Should we kill him and put him out of his misery?

Jack: NO! Is he going to get better?

me: I’m afraid not. He might be suffering.

Jack: Let’s put him outside in a comfy spot and he’ll die on his own.

me: Do you think that’s better than helping him so he doesn’t suffer?

Jack: That’s always better. You have to die on your own Mom.

me: Really? I always want to help.

Jack: We’re not supposed to help.

Jack was very convincing. We placed the ant in a shady spot on the deck. When we came back a few minutes later he was curled up and dead. The ant. Jack said “See? He did it on his own.” I once hit a squirrel with my car, very severely, and I went back to “finish him off”. It was just about the most sickening thing I’ve ever done. Should I have left him there? Even I’m learning things from this little 6-year-old.

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7 responses

  1. 🙂

    Like

    July 16, 2011 at 10:45 pm

  2. we have fuzzy caterpillars in New Orleans, but they sting. I found out a few years ago that they sting and that I am pretty allergic to them!
    LOL
    I would help in the death thing. I think that I can handle death but the whole suffering thing, not so much.

    Like

    July 17, 2011 at 5:52 am

    • Stinging caterpillars? EW! I don’t think I’ve ever come across any up here in the Northeast. As far as the death thing…I’m totally with you.

      Like

      July 17, 2011 at 6:06 pm

  3. When I was about 10, a car hit a squirrel and threw it into a ditch on the side of the road right in front of my face. The squirrel was lying their twitching and dying. I ran inside to get my policeman, ex-farmer dad to save the day. I was delighted when he headed out to the rescue, although unsure of why he grabbed his stick on the way out the door. We arrived at the crime scene, with me being full of pride that my father was going to save the dying squirrel. Dad raised up the stick and came squarely down on its nose and put it out of its misery in an instant. But wait — there’s more. He cooked it up and made me eat a little piece. Hindsight? — the putting the critter out of his misery was a good call. The making your child eat road kill — maybe not so good. Anyway, it tasted like chicken…. In answer, my vote is that you definitely did the right and humane thing with your squirrel and that it took much courage.

    Like

    July 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    • Ohhhhhhh! I kinda knew where that story was going, except for the eating part. Wow. That’s hard core. I remember backing up BACK over the squirrel, who was clearly still partly alive, and then becoming hysterical…so much so that I almost couldn’t make it home, which was right around the corner. My husband thought I had hit a person with the way I reacted. Anyway, it was awful, but it would have been more awful to NOT go back. Ya know? Effen nature…

      Like

      July 17, 2011 at 6:11 pm

      • Yeah, real hard cord, right? … I was wondering how you decided to do the deed. That must have been horrible, but it was kind of creative. I mean, what else would you have done? Maybe for the next time you can walk softly and carry a big stick (?) 🙂 I would have reacted the same as you. Still, you were very brave and you did the right thing. I still haven’t gotten over a turtle I ran over a few decades ago. The sounds was “bum-bum”.

        Like

        July 18, 2011 at 6:12 am

      • I may be in the minority, but I remember each and every, um, death by car. The frog (I actually went back to check and hoped I had missed him), the bird (I could see him in the rearview mirror, sob). Luckily there weren’t too many. I have a supreme disability to handle things like then, when I see it doesn’t faze other people. Stories of “dude this raccoon I ran over…” are heard in the lunchroom over chinese take-out, and hardly an eye blinks.

        Like

        July 18, 2011 at 9:19 am

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