All of this happened in the car. Really.
me: How was your day?
Jack: Well, my friend was rude, so I was rude back.
me: And how did that help?
Jack: It made me feel better.
me: Maybe you should just walk away.
Jack: Then he was shooting me with his finger, so I shot him back. Then he hit me so I hit him.
me: How about you let your teacher know if someone is bothering you so much that you feel like hitting them. BEFORE you hit them. Even if they hit you first.
Jack: Mom, remember how you told me Do to others that I would have them do to me?
Jack: Well, he was doing to ME what he wanted ME to do to HIM! So I did it! Sheesh.
me: Geez, where are we? Did I miss the exit?
Jack: (shaking his head) Main Street! Look at the signs. I never knew of a mother that didn’t read signs.
me: So, do you still want to be a doctor when you grow up?
Jack: I want to operate one of those cranes that picks up the heavy things, ya know? (he gets a faraway look in his eyes)
Jack: Can I watch a video when we get home?
me: Maybe after dinner… I’m not sure if we’ll have time…
Jack: I wish we could watch a video!
me: I said maybe.
Jack: No, you said “If you wish it , you can make it happen” So I WISH I COULD WATCH A VIDEO!
Jack: This is weird.
me: What are you doing back there?
Jack: What makes my penis stick up like this?
me: (sigh) It’s full of blood. I guess it’s excited.
Jack: BLOOD??? WHO WOULD BE EXCITED BY A PENIS FULL OF THAT!