I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

So, let’s see, where was I?

Because who needs more proof that I’m brain dead. I certainly don’t. I’ve already forgotten why I’m in here typing. And who the heck are you??

 

me: Jack, you can’t eat a book while you read dinner, so please put it away!

Jack: (blank stare) The book or dinner?

me: What? You…!! sigh…

 

Jack: Mom, my yogurt was frozen but my juice was warm.

me: Really? (I thought back to the night before…) Oh I think I meant to put your juice in the freezer so it would thaw by lunch. Sorry.

Jack: I don’t like choking on ice crystals in my yogurt.

 

me: Jack can you please grab me the… that…(I wave my hand around) the THING over there!

Jack: There’s like a hundred things over there.

me: The round thing with the…OH the tape. Can you hand me the tape please?

Jack: (eye roll)

 

Jack: Where is Chewbacca?

me: (blank stare) What?

Jack: He’s not in his cage.

me: What are you talking about.

Jack: ChewBACCA the CATERPILLAR?

me: OH! heh heh, yeah he’s in the dirt molting.

Jack: I can’t believe you forgot who Chewbacca is.

 

Jack: Is my camp shirt ready for tomorrow?

me: (…) I have no idea. Hmmm.

Jack: Is it dirty?

me: Hmmm. (I look in the dryer where all Jack’s clothes are tumbling)

Jack: No?

me: Nope. You can wear this other yellow shirt. You’ll blend right in.

Jack: I’m always settling for second best.

me: Get used to it.

 

me: (driving Jack home from camp) Jack it’s really important that you try to be a good friend at school so I don’t want to hear that you were (blah blah blah) and they won’t appreciate it, and how would you feel if (blah blah) so I really think that…

Jack: (looks up from his book in the back seat) You missed the exit.

me: Sigh.

 

 

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3 responses

  1. man. he amazes me. i can’t even type caps because i’m in awe.

    August 5, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    • If only he’d let me know BEFORE we miss the exit. That would be a big freaken help.

      August 5, 2011 at 6:03 pm

  2. I love Get used to it. Good one!

    August 6, 2011 at 10:56 am

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