I promise I will stop calling you a fool!

me: (yeah right)

Jack: Can I have my Wimpy Kid book number 1 back?

me: No.

Jack: But whyyyyy??

me: Because I didn’t like how fresh and rude you became after you read those books. You know better than to call people names.

Jack: But I promise I won’t do it ever again!!!

me: I don’t know…you’ve started to behave much better now and I’m afraid you’ll start up again if you get the books back.

Jack: (hands clasped together, lips pulled back in a grimace, wide eyes) I won’t start up anything, I promise! I won’t even call you “fool” or “lady” anymore, I promise!

me: I’ll have to think about it.

Jack: And I’ll have good manners at camp and everything!

me: Okay, here’s the deal. I’ll give you a second chance. You’ll have to be on your best behavior, no name calling to anyone, no hitting or hurting anyone, and no fresh talk to me or your teachers. I’m gonna hear a lot of “Yes Mom” around here.

Jack: Yes Mom!

me: Good start. If I get any bad reports from your teachers, or if you start calling me anything other than “best mom in the whole world”, then I’ll take the books away for a whole month.

Jack: WHAT???!!

me: You heard me. I really mean it. I think you can do it Jack. And you can’t say “oh I forgot and then I hit so-and-so”

Jack: What’s a so-and-so?

me: Nevermind. It’s just a person if you don’t want to say their name.

Jack: Oh. But a whole MONTH!!?? That’s not fair!!!

me: Then just behave and I won’t have to take them away.

Jack: Do I get one free pass?

me: To misbehave? No.

Jack: A half of a pass?

me: No! I’m serious. Be a good boy. I know you can do it. You have to think before you speak and before you act out. Really think first.

Jack: Sighhhh….ohhkaaayyyyy… But what if you go around acting like a F—, I mean like a so-and-so, then I can’t do anything about it?

me: (now I’m laughing)  Nice save there. Mom’s can act any way they like, and it’s your job to behave. Got it? Don’t slip up.

Jack: No fair! So can I have the book or what???

me: (staring at him)

Jack: Can I please have the red book. (sweet smile as he adjusts his halo)

me: Yes, here you go. Try your best.

Well, lo and behold, Jack had a great day at camp, and spoke to the teachers instead of putting his hands on anyone when he got upset. He was also great for me and I didn’t really have to fight with him about anything. It’s a slow road, but we’re making progress. I’ll have to see what the camp report is like today. 🙂

Any votes? Do you think he’ll get to keep his Wimpy Kid book? Did he keep it together for one more day?? I’m like 50-50 on this one.