All I want for Christmas is…

Jack: There’s really only one thing I need from Santa.

me: What’s that?

Jack: It might take batteries, I think…

me: Did you hear me? I asked what it is?

Jack: No. I think you’re not supposed to put your mouth on it.

me: Sigh. Whenever you’re ready.

Jack: Because sometimes I just need to say things, ya know?

me: True, so is this thing a recording device or something?

Jack: That’s only for Santa to know. And this is the ONLY thing he needs to bring.

me: Really, the only thing?

Jack: But you still have to get me stuff.

me: Are you gonna tell me what it is because I’m going to move on…

Jack: You know how there’s always the ONE best present that you hope to get because you know you’ll always use it?

me: Sure, I guess…

Jack: Well then that’s it. Not the plastic kind. Do they make a metal kind?

me: I’m not really sure what we’re even talking about anymore.

Jack: It’s a megaphone. Don’t you listen to me??!!!

me: All I want from Santa is a bottle of Advil.

Jack: Ha! That’s not a real present.