On and off like a faucet
Jack: (crying hysterically) Wahhhhhhh!!! In like 10 years you and Daddy will be dead and I’ll have no parents!! Waaahhhh!
me: We’ll only be 52 then. I think we’ll be fine for a long time.
Jack: (stops crying immediately) Really? Oh.
me: All better?
Jack: (thinks about it for a second) Waaaahhhhhhh! In 50 years you’ll BOTH BE DEAD and I’ll be a… (he stops crying) …what’s that called?
Jack: Wahhhhhh!! I’ll be an orphannnnnnnn!!! (blows his nose and clings to me sobbing all over my shirt)
me: Sweetie, take a breath. Why do you think these things before bed?
Jack: (crying and hiccuping) Just…Let… Me… Hyperlate! (more sniffing and sobbing)
Jack: Until I pass out and dieeeeee. Waaaahhhhhh!!!
me: Oh, you mean hyperventilate?
Jack: (stops crying immediately) Oh. Ha! Is that what it’s called? What did I say? Hyperlate? That’s soooo funny!! Hey Mom? Because I’m so sad, will you brush my teeth for me?
(And they say we’re moody? Sheesh.)