Can’t make this sh*t up

I was just sitting here a few minutes ago, wondering what my topic would be…when Jack called me up to his room… (and sigh, he’s calling me again…hold ON!) Okay, back. It’s one of THOSE nights. You finally get the child to bed at an early hour and then you’re up in their room time after time. Here’s what happened the first time.

me: Hey what’s up?

Jack: I’m not tired.

me: But you’re yawning like crazy so your body is VERY tired.

Jack: Can you hold me in the chair like when I was a baby?

me: Really?

Jack: Yes, that will help me get sleepy.

me: Okay, just for a minute.

Jack: Can I tell you a secret?

me: Always.

Jack: I think the girl in my tae kwon do class has a beautiful face. Did you hear me just say that?

me: I heard. That’s sweet. She’s also a wicked kicker.

Jack: Yeah. Sighhhh…

me: Always thinking about these girls huh?

Jack: Yeah, I can’t help it. I try and then it gets worse.

me: I don’t expect it will ever get better.

Jack: Oh…Sigh….

me: Okay, enough rocking, time to get back in bed.

Jack: Can I keep more secrets from you?

me: More? Well, I guess I would never know, now would I.

Jack: Or should I tell you?

me: Try telling me this time, and if it doesn’t work out the way you planned, then next time don’t tell me. How’s that?

Jack: That’s good. You know the Madeline movie?

me: Yeahhh…?

Jack: I’m thinking of ALL those girls at the school.

me: (yikes) All of them?

Jack: Yeah they’re coming over to see me.

me: (gulp) How come?

Jack: To do … stuff … (he buries his head in the blanket)

me: Stuff huh? For your sake I hope stuff equals smooches.

Jack: Lots of smooches.

me: (sigh) Okay tuck in and think about that… I guess … and you’ll get sleepy.

Jack: It makes my heart hurt.

me: I know sweetie. Enjoy it now while you have it easy.

Jack: I know this will be easier when I’m older!

me: (Ha!)