Health

Your big fat butt

Oh that’s right, I said it. (snap!). You have a big butt.

And by “you” I mean “me”.

At least according to some little person I know, who stands about ohhhh … butt high.

 

Jack: Hey can you move it?

me: You mean excuse me?

Jack: Yeah, if you were smaller I wouldn’t have to say excuse me.

me: Thanks.

Jack: (walks around to stare at my butt, and then pokes it) Your butt is big.

me: Is this how you want your night to end?

Jack: (poke poke) You should lose some weight.

me: You do know that grown ups are bigger than 6 year olds, right?

Jack: I know that! But still, maybe a diet?

me: And we’re stronger. (he doesn’t get the hint…)

Jack: (looks at my front) Why do ladies always have to lose weight?

me: Who’s telling you this by the way??

Jack: No one! I made this up all by myself.

me: Great. I happen to think my butt is the perfect size for my body. Thank you very much.

Jack: It doesn’t matter if YOU think it’s perfect, it matters if OTHER people think it is.

me: Sigh…

(click if you dare)

10 thoughts on “Your big fat butt”

    1. You are NOT! Oh you poor poor thing. Have we taught you nothing? πŸ™‚ You need to go back to the beginning of this blog and start reading, each and every day. Congrats to you and the new little man-to-be. πŸ™‚

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  1. I really truly am having a boy. Haha. I think I’ll need your words of wisdom very soon. Baby Alexander will be making his way here in about a month..! Any advice to a new mom?

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    1. Oh wow, one month left! Well, as someone who had her baby boy 5 weeks early, I would say “I hope you have the bassinet put together!!” It was the one thing I was frantic for my husband to do. He kept saying “we have time!” and lo and behold, we put it together on a Sunday and Jack came suddenly that Tuesday. But seriously, if this is your first child, the BEST advice I can give is to trust YOUR mothering instinct. You and only you will know this child better than anyone, including the doctors. You will know exactly what to do in each instance if you only trust yourself. I of course did not trust my self and went completely bonkers for the first year of Jack’s life. πŸ™‚

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  2. OMG> The Princess met a woman at the front door one evening – a new chick coming to Bible stufy at my house – and J. REALLY is fat. The Princess looked at her and said “OMG. Your butt is SO big.” Needed me a hole in the floor to go and die.

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