I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Subaru Confessions part deux

Jack: I’m not going in that building of DOOM!

me: It’s not doom.

Jack: Oh, like YOU’VE ever been in there for yourself!

me: Well not literally this building, but I have my own.

Jack: Well it’s not doom like this. And if that same lady comes in first…

me: Settle down, they’re just gonna look at you.

Jack: No shots?

me: No shots. Promise.

Jack: Even without a shot it’s still a doomed building.

me: I’m sure the doctor will love to hear that.

____________________________________

Jack: Mom, how did the first Mexican mom get born if Adam and Eve were American?

me: (?)

Jack: Oh, they must have had ALL the parts in them at the same time. To make like brown skin people and Mexicans and the Jewish people, because today’s their holiday you know.

____________________________________

me: Did you fold your uniform when we got home? I should have checked, but I seem to think you might have just flung it across the room.

Jack: Well, I started folding it and then I decided that I don’t have time for all of this. That would have wasted like 3 hours of play time.

____________________________________

Jack: Can you stop driving like 100 miles for an hour?

me: Per.

Jack: Huh?

me: Per hour.

Jack: Prower is NOT a word, so can ya slow down lady!

____________________________________

Jack: When we get home can I drive?

me: What? No you can’t drive.

Jack: You said if I had a good day I could drive your car.

me: I did not.

Jack: Yesss! You SAID “If you behave for me every day and have a perfect school year with no trouble, I’ll give you my car keys and you can drive.”

me: I was joking and we haven’t gotten through the whole school year yet AND you’ve been rude to me already today.

Jack: Hey, I can’t wait that long, so instead of driving around town, I’ll just drive up and down the driveway, okay?

Advertisements

2 responses

  1. Are you in stitches all day with this kid? He is so funny!

    September 29, 2011 at 10:44 pm

    • Pretty much! I just came in from the bus stop. Jack was entertaining people with this little speech: “Mom, I need an advance on my allowance! I only get one dollar a week and how am I supposed to buy a $30,000 car on one dollar a week!!!???” The other parents were laughing and probably wondering how I deal with this kid 24/7. Ya kinda get used to it. 🙂

      September 30, 2011 at 8:18 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s