I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

What can happen at 6:45 am when you’re fast asleep?

What CAN’T, is what I say.

me: (yawning) Hey Jack, good morning!

Jack: (jumping up on my bed wide awake) Hi Mommy!

me: (feeling his clothes) Why are you wet?? Your hair is wet!

Jack: Uhhh… I was outside.

me: Out of the HOUSE??

Jack: Yeah.

me: What the heck! Jack ! That is so dangerous! What were you doing?

Jack: (now worried) Nothing.

me: You talk right now mister! Can’t I ever wake up normally in this house?? Sheesh.

Jack: Well, I woke up and got dressed, and then went and got a flashlight. (winning smile)

me: For??

Jack: I went outside. It’s raining.

me: Jack! Come on… What did you do?

Jack: I went over to Dina’s.

me: What for please.

Jack: We had a deal to meet at 7 o’clock outside.

me: How’d that work out for you?

Jack: She didn’t come out.

me: Because she was either still asleep or had enough sense to stay in the house. There are so many things wrong with this story.

Jack: It’s totally fine! I peeked in their window and the light on the stairs was on, but she wasn’t coming out, so then I came home. That was it.

me: Okay. I know you were brave and what you did seemed like an adventure, but it was very dangerous.

Jack: No it wasn’t.

me: What would have happened if you slipped in the driveway and hit your head. Mommy would be in here sleeping and no one would know you were hurt.

Jack: Oh.

me: What if there were strangers lurking around and they saw a nice little boy to steal. (I know, that’s mean but I had to say it!)

Jack: There are no strangers here!

me: What about the guys doing the new roof over there, huh?

Jack: Oh yeah. I’m sorry.

me: Please please do not do this again. It’s okay to be brave, but brave people still have to be safe, or else they won’t be brave for very long.

Jack: I want to be brave a long time. So, if I tell you then can I do it again?

me: What do you think?

Jack: When you ask me that I already know it’s the opposite of my answer. Sigh.

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4 responses

  1. Definitely a story all mothers of halfway normal kids can identify with. You did a great job in conveying how whimsical it is to deal with kids, especially a 6 year old. I’m convinced kids have their own handbook of how to get over on their parents, and striking out into the great unknown, not fearing anything is one of their MO’s. I talk about this very subject this week on my blog post (“Yo’ Momma Don’t Have to Know!”). My kids are grown now, but I remember it well. Cheers!

    Like

    October 2, 2011 at 1:16 am

    • I’m sure we’ve all been through it at one time or another. Man, it’s always something new though! 🙂

      Like

      October 2, 2011 at 9:00 pm

  2. OMG! That kid worries me! He’s too smart for his own good!

    Like

    October 2, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    • Just when I think I’m one step ahead…

      Like

      October 2, 2011 at 9:00 pm

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