I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

One Slash One Slash Twelve

Happy New Year everyone! Show of hands for who is thankful that 2011 has ended for good! (me) Show of hands for who also LOVED many, many things about this year? (me) See? You can have it both ways.

I’m not doing an “I’m grateful for…” post. All of my closest family and friends, and the mailman, already know what’s on that list. The mailman because damn girl did I order a lot of boots this year. And yes, I am grateful for them. (sniff)

Jack and I spent a fun day reading, ice skating, arguing, arcading and play-dating. (that’s not pretend dating, that’s playing with friends). We kept busy! As we walked home from the neighbor’s house right before bed, in the misty evening fog, Jack got a little spooked.

Jack: Mom.

me: What…

Jack: Carry me.

me: Up the driveway? No.

Jack: (glancing around) It’s sooo dark…

me: Our driveway lights are out for some reason…hmmm…

Jack: This hill is too long and my legs are tired. What was that? (he whips his head around)

The fog and light mist gave everything an eerie silence that we don’t usually get to enjoy in this neighborhood. A twig snapped off to the left in the woods.

me: (whispering) SHH! (we both stopped walking) Did you hear that??

Jack: (also afraid to raise his voice) Yesssss… What IS that noise? Ohhhhhhh…. (hand wringing)

me: Let’s keep going, you can do it…

Jack: Right now I have the feeling we’re being monitored.

me: Watched? By who?

Jack: Aliens. This is when they get you. Shhhh!!! (another twig snapped)

me: (with the hairs raising on the back of my neck) It’s probably a deer. Come on don’t stop.

Jack: (turning into Rain Man) Definitely being monitored, definitely.

We made it to the top of the driveway. I noticed that I had forgotten to shut the garage door. Or HAD I?? Shit.

me: (trying not to make Jack nervous) Jack, did I close the…

Jack: (Interrupting me…suddenly not afraid anymore) Hey Einstein! Try closing the door next time whydon’tcha! Geez!! You want someone to break in?

He ran up the stairs into the kitchen flipping on all of the lights as he went.


6 responses

  1. Rain Man is awesome, definitely awesome


    January 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm

  2. I am assuming, since you were able to post this, that there were not mass murderers lurking in the house. If there were, and you don’t post again, I will call the police for you. Though that probably would be no consolation at this point…


    January 2, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    • I didn’t think of It like that, but yeah were you worried up until now?? LOL!!


      January 2, 2012 at 11:38 pm

      • I just dialed the 9 and the 1. I was waiting to do the last 1. Hooray, you’re alive!


        January 3, 2012 at 12:24 am

      • LOLLLL! I have a really funny story about me dialing 911 once. Such a blonde thing to do…sigh…It has nothing to do with Jack, so I’ll have to tell you it sometime!


        January 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm

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