Jack: Boys are SO exciting!
Jack: Come ON! We like electronics and jet packs and thermal detonators and cable TV!
me: And what do girls like?
Jack: Clothes. Mostly. And shoes. Sigh.
me: Now THAT’S exciting!
Jack: (sizing me up) You look pregnant.
me: WHAT?? (I can actually see my 6-pack these days) The hell, I mean, the heck I do!
Jack: (poke poke) Well…if you lose 5 pounds maybe I can have a stepfather sooner…DUHHH did you ever think of that??
me: ??? (I don’t even know where to begin with that statement)