99 bottles of rudeness…
Even if you take one down and pass it around, you’ll have 98 more bottles of rudeness to swallow. According to Jack.
Jack: What’s that song that everyone sings and you count down stuff?
me: 99 bottles of beer?
Jack: I guess. Why is it beer?
me: I don’t know. That’s how I learned it.
Jack: Then you take one down and pass it around. Why? You all share it?
me: I don’t know. I never really thought about it. It’s just a fun song. You sing it. That’s all.
Jack: They all fit on the wall?
me: Let it go.
Jack: (singing) 99 bottles of mom’s rudeness in the kitchen…
me: Sigh. Come here, you’re gonna get a spanking. (I’m joking of course, but Jack loves to get “spanked”)
Jack: (running back in) Okay!
me: Lay on my lap. You’re gonna get it! 30 whacks! One for each day of the month!
Jack: Oh yeah, this is gonna be good. (I start spanking and he’s cracking up) Spank me more! No not that cheek. The other one has more resistance!
me: You’re weird. Just like your Uncle John. He liked to be tied up when he was 7. Ha ha!
Jack: Well I have some rope in the basement. Tie me to the closet door and force me to answer questions!
me: Nah…I’m thinking no…
Jack: Then can I do a Jedi mind trick on you? You will let me have another piece of chocolate.
Jack: No? Rats. Gotta change my strategy. Boy, those pants give you a giant wedgie…
me: Oh really? Where’s that rope again?