I don’t even think I’m your real son…
Jack: … because my real mom would NOT be so annoying and yell all the time.
me: I didn’t even raise my voice Jack…
Jack: You’re yelling right now!
Jack: You hate me.
me: I love you.
Jack: Then don’t make me write that dumb thing 10 times!
me: It’s how you learn that there are consequences for your actions.
Jack: Writing is not a consequence, it’s just you being annoying!
me: Now you have to write it 15 times. Want to keep talking back?
Jack: AARRRGGGHHH!!! (mild fit of rage in the back seat)
me: Don’t kick the seat.
Jack: Can I see my birth certificate? The real one with the seal on it?
me: Very funny. You tried that one already. You think I don’t remember all of THAT coming out of my body?
Jack: My real Mom wouldn’t be that annoy—
me: Are you trying for 20?
Jack: I guess I’ll have to stay up REAL late to write all that.
me: Nope. You can write it in the morning when you get up. Instead of watching a video.
Jack: How do you even think me writing “I will not talk back to my Mom” 15 times is making me learn anything!!??
me: I guess you’ll think twice about it next time knowing that you’re gonna start off with 10 lines to write. It’s your call.
Jack: Yeah, THAT’S my call? How about my call is watching a video and not writing the dumb sentences.
me: I’m thinking this conversation should be over right about now.
Jack: Stop yelling at me! I can’t wait to go to Dad’s. And I’m NOT gonna call you even once.
me: (Sighhhhh, and so on and so forth.)
Any advice? I’m thinking I need some.
Later that night Jack was all hugs and kisses and cute and funny. Exhausting.