Sh*t a 3rd Grader Says

Jack: (showing me a long hair he just pulled from somewhere) Ewwwww, I think this just came from my neck!

me: That’s one of my hairs.

Jack: Oh, I knew I was too young to start shaving.


me: How was the 3rd day of school?

Jack: Oh, I got yelled at by the principal for stealing the ketchup at lunch.

me: Sigh.

Jack: I didn’t really steal it. There’s one bottle for everyone to share and I got tired of getting up and down so I just brought it to my table.

me: Sigh.

Jack: He’s fine with it now. Don’t worry.


Jack: My teacher is SO mean!

me: You said she was nice. What happened?

Jack: I got to know her, that’s what.


Jack: Uh, can I have a little privacy here?

me: While you put your shorts on?

Jack: Yeah, you don’t have to look at my privates you know.

me: I made those privates.

Jack: That doesn’t mean you own them your whole life!


Jack: Can I please please please get this toy and I promise I will listen and not give you any trouble for the rest of the week.

me: Sorry honey, I don’t have enough money for that toy.

Jack: Go to the bank and get some.

me: The bank only has money for me if I put money into it.

Jack: Huh?? The bank does NOT ever run out of money!!! It’s a BANK!!!

2 thoughts on “Sh*t a 3rd Grader Says”

  1. It’s only vaguely related to the bank comment, but today my 3yr old found an old gift card in my car and asked if she could have it. Then she proceeded to pretend it was money and she was shopping. I remember playing with pieces of paper, bottle caps, etc for “money.” The kids rarely see us handle cash anymore.


    1. AND, they usually say…Just go to the ATM and get more money. Or… Just use your credit card. As if we magically have an endless supply of cash hidden away in these plastic cards.


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