me: I had a nice little talk with your teacher today.
Jack: Why do grown ups say “nice” when it’s the opposite? Like “that’s a nice cold you have there.”
me: That was said to you 3 years ago. Still bothers you, huh?
me: Anyway…you and I need to have a little talk when we get home, okay?
Jack: By “little” you mean a long lecture that will ruin my life. And you’re not really asking me either. Sigh….
me: Well you’re right about both of those things, sorry.
Jack: Whatever my teacher said, I didn’t do it. And if you’re supposedly raising me, then my mistakes are all your fault anyway.