Question: What would Jack do with 320 million dollars
Jack: Dad bought three tickets and we almost won the lottery.
me: Whoa…
Jack: Dad said he’d split it with me! That’s 160 million!
me: But you didn’t win eh?
Jack: No, someone in New Jersey won. They totally didn’t deserve it.
me: What else would you have bought with the money? Nothing for your mom??
Jack: Oh yeah! I’d buy you a cheesecake as big as this ceiling!
me: Hmmm. Okaayyy…?
Sh*t My 18-Year-Old Says 