Something like a shock collar might work nicely in this situation

Let me know if you agree!

See, now that I’m typing on my computer, and not on my phone, I can be wordy (aka entertaining/boring) again! You lucky readers. Today’s blog post happens to be about something that annoys the sh*t out of me on a daily basis. All you parents will agree. First, add one 8-year-old boy fresh out of school. Second, add any electronic…iPad, iPhone, iAnything, DS, TV, XBox, hell, a stopwatch would even do nicely in this situation. Then add one mom that’s trying to get one answer out of said boy.

me: (handing Jack my iPhone in the car) Hey, we need to go to the store. Cats are COMPLETELY out of litter.

Jack: Grunt.

me: So how was school?

Jack: Huh?

me: School. How was school?

Jack: Good.

me: What did you have for lunch today?

Jack: (silence)

me: Earth to Jack?

Jack: Huh?

me: What did you have for lunch today?

Jack: For what?

me: LUNCH! What was it?

Jack: Good.

me: Sigh. Look at me. Look into my eyes. What. Did. You. Have. For. Lunch.

Jack: (silence)

me: Answer please!?

Jack: Why do you keep asking the same question over and over!? I answered you. NACHOS!!!

(now did any one of you reading this see the word Nachos before he yelled it at me? I didn’t think so)

me: Quit the yelling or you lose the phone privilege. Were they good?

Jack: Grunt.

me: Are you hungry?

Jack: Grunt.

me: We can get you a snack at the store if you’re hungry.

Jack: Did you say snack? Can I have it right now?

me: Sigh. (That he hears)

 

I gave him a piece of gum. I didn’t ask any more questions.