I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

My little helper

me: Ready to help rake?

Jack: Can I use the big push broom?

me: Okay. Just push all the dirt into a nice pile in the driveway.

Jack: (1 minute later) Can I pick up the sticks instead?

me: Uh sure. Just grab them all and make a pile.

Jack: Look! This one is just like a sword !!! (He runs around stabbing trees)

me: What about the pile?

Jack: I’m gonna ride my scooter and push the broom! (He runs off and gets his scooter and helmet)

me: Why do you have your squirt gun? I thought you were gonna scooter and sweep?

Jack: I’m gonna scooter and squirt you!

me: Sigh. If we work as a team this will get done faster you know.

Jack: We do work as a team. And by team I mean go get me a hot chocolate.

me: Nice.

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