Jack: Massage time!
Jack: (voraciously clawing at my scalp) How’s this??
me: Oh it’s really good! But could you be a little gentler? I’m missing some clumps of hair…
Jack: (using a fake tour guide voice) Once the massage has started you need to be quiet.
me: Ok ok (I start laughing)
Jack: Now for the bonus massage!
me: (he hooks a corner of my eye with one little finger) Owww! You got my —
Jack: (interrupting in the tour guide voice) Please hold all comments until you have exited the massage. Or else will ignore them. Thank you.
Sigh, maybe I can get a fast pass?