I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Need for speed

A tiny glimpse into our Saturday wake-up routine… In real time…

me: Jack!

Jack: What!

me: C’mere!

Jack: Ugh! (Clomps downstairs) Can I play my game?

me: in a minute. Can you please go get Biscuit?

Jack: Where is he???

me: In the ball, out there… (I wave my hand vaguely towards the living room.)

Jack: (finds Biscuit in the kitchen) How long has he been in this?

me: What time does my clock say?? (I’m much too lazy to roll over and look)

Jack: 7:50.

me: Wow I actually got some sleep! I put him in the ball around 6:45 when he jiggled the roof of his cage and then started flipping his house. That’s my cue that he wants out.

Jack: Here you go little buddy! (He dumps Biscuit out of the ball onto the roof of his house.) Now can I play my game?

me: Which one?

Jack: Need for Speed.

me: Racing?

Jack: Yes.

me: 20 minutes.

Jack: 30!

me: 25.

Jack: 35!

me: That’s not how negotiating works. Okay 30, but set the timer.

Jack: Nooo the ticking is annoying! Just get me in 30 minutes.

me: (Ooohh maybe I can doze off one more time …?) Okay, see you in 30.

Sadly, more sleep did not happen. Biscuit started flipping his house again (I removed it), a singular LOUD catbird took up residence right outside my open window “Raaow Raaaaoooow!'”, and then, as you lucky readers can see, I decided to blog! And now I need to go to the bathroom. I told you! Real time!

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