Sh*t My Mom Says
me: (dropping all of the mail in the driveway) $%&@! (mutter mutter)
Jack: I heard that
me: I said Fart.
Jack: No you didn’t. I heard you.
me: Jack I was just muttering.
Jack: I heard the F.
me: Yes the F in fart. Stop making me say fart. Hey, did you get a new bus driver?
Jack: Yeah! How did you know?
me: I just saw her when you got off the bus, remember?
Jack: Oh! haha. My friend’s mom wrote a letter to the bus company because the driver called him an Ass and so he got fired.
me: He called him an Ass? And he called you guys a bunch of jackasses I remember.
Jack: (pauses looking at me)
me: … Aaaaand we’re swearing at each other in conversation as if it’s normal. Please don’t say the A word again okay? Just say A. Sheesh. And stop tricking me.
Jack: (cracks up because I totally let him swear)