I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Subaru Confessions – 5th Grade Style

me: Ohh we should put orange light bulbs in our driveway for Halloween! Whatcha think?

Jack: Meatballs.

me: Why.

Jack: MEATBALLS that’s why!!

me: In the lamps…

Jack: No like on aircraft carriers. Duh,

me: You’re asking me to put meatballs in the lights, and I’m the duh?

Jack: Sigh… They make light formations on aircraft carriers for planes to land. I went to the Air and Space Museum and that’s what they’re called.

me: Oh. Either way we aren’t putting meatballs in the lights.

…and in other news…

Jack: Guess what?? We found a butt wipe on the floor in the boy’s bathroom!! And it had poop on it!

me: How awesome.

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